Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
