i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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