That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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