whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
