when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
