You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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