everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need water and some morals
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
