But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
