Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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