my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
