its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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