like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
