I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
