Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
