Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
