he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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