So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
