their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
