I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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