At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
