I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
