what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am in a vortex of obligation.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
