I want to stick my p in your. b.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Text me some of your sweat
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
