I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
