Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
