Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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