Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The uberlube is also flammable
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
