I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sorry about my life...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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