if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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