my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
