I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
