I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
