Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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