Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize