Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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