Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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