this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
