he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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