i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
