I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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