I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
