why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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