Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
