they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
