soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
