He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
