their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
