sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
