Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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