Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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