called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize