dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
