I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize