just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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