Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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