maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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