I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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