The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
