Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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