Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
