I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
