she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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