i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
