So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
