it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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