I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
