How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize