Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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