My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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