So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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