He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
